HELLO!!! How are you??! I am so excited to email you. I don{t know if I mentioned this before, but all the keyboards here are different, so my punctuation is no bueno. I{m sorry about that.
Anyway, this week was great as usual. A lot of interesting things have happened. But I just wanted to tell you about something that is a part of my life everyday, whether I like it or not.
SO my companion and I are so similar. Just adventurous, loud, crazy people (she is a little bit quieter than I am, so that's helped me calm down a tad). We love to have fun, and usually we do, but often times we argue with each other. Were both just a couple of stubborn hermanas sometimes, so we get into some genuine arguments sometimes. Looking back on all of them, I laugh because I know how stupid all of them are, but it happens, and everytime we have to learn how to just get over it. Sometimes, in normal life, you can have a little argument, and then a few hours later its sort of blown over and you dont feel mad anymore. You know what I mean? Well, my companion and I argue and then just a few seconds later we realize that were going to be together every second for the rest of forever (or just three more weeks), so we have so solve it right then and there. Its been really hard, because I hate getting in arguments, but its helping me to learn a lot about myself and how I can be just a better person in general. I know that I am not nearly as humble as I should be, I know I am stubborn, and I{m sort of a control freak. I like things done my way, and I{m learning that in a mission, that just doesnt fly. Its all about working together and doing what the Lord wants you to do. And with the spirit of contention, it is literally impossible to feel a spirit of peace, or of love, which is exactly what we need in order to know what to teach, or how we can continue to get better. But I am learning. And Hermana Thiel and I are really good friends. We have so much fun together. Our similarities is what brings the struggles, but we always get over them and joke about things like farts (sorry, thats gross) and double chins and all of that fun stuff. Good thing no one ever really hears our conversations.......
Anyway, I found out that when I tweaked my ankle I had strained a little muscle right above my ankle bone on the inside of my foot. But está bein, seriously its not a big deal at all. It hurts sometimes, but its just because that particular tendon, muscle, whatever it is, just takes a little while to heal. I feel pretty dumb for doing that, but I dont need a brace or anything. Its really not a big deal at all! So no worries :)
On Tuesday night, we had a devotional, and it was by a man named C Scott Grow. Hes a member of the "70"...there is the prophet, the other two members of the presidency (three in the presidency total), twelve apostles, and then 70 other men. Those are the leaders of our church. Does that make sense? So this man was in the 70. Anyway, he talked about how important members of the church are in our work as missionaries. The members are so vital in helping people get baptized, because it obviously would be so hard to join a church if you didn{t know anyone or didnt feel comfortable there. Like for example, I always met with the missionaries in the Lattins home, or with other members, because its a comfortable environment. The members can often times do a greater work than the full time missionaries if they do their part in inviting, teaching, and including people. Am I making sense? Sorry my thoughts are all over the place. He also talked about how important bishops are in helping us find people to teach. I feel like as missionaries, we think that we can do our work all on our own. We have the mindset that we dont need anyone's help, that were just going to baptize nations on our own. But, thats just not how it works. Realizing how many resources we have made me so much more excited to get out into the field. There is so much that we can do, so many people out there that we can teach. Its just about figuring how to do it, and how to do it well. It was a really inspiring talk.
I have one thing that I want to share before I forget. So I dont know to what extent you know this about me, but I have some self confidence issues sometimes. Sometimes its not a big deal, but other times I am really aware of myself, my mistakes, what I look like, blah blah blah. Being a BYU was like the best time of my life besides the mission, but being around all of those pretty people in their pretty clothes made me more self conscious about what I look like. I know that sounds really dumb, but one thing I wanted before I came out here was to just not worry about that stuff anymore. I found that as soon as I got here, it lessened significantly, but it was still something that bothered me. It sounds so stupid, like honestly who cares what I look like, I{m a missionary for goodness sake! I{m not trying to impress anyone, I{m here to serve the Lord. He just wants me for my heart. Anyway, I knew these things, but it was sometimes hard to really believe them. And I guess there was just one day that I was really beating myself up. Other things, like not speaking fluent Spanish, or not knowing a word, were just piling up and I was feeling pretty crappy about myself. I went to bed that night, and prayed for Heavenly Father to help me learn to love myself, but at the same time forget myself so that I can be a better missionary. I want to see myself as a missionary, a daughter of God, who is loved and supported by Him and my family and so many people. I just wanted to be able to get over that stupid problem that I{ve been having. Anyway, I had a dream that night. This is a dream, not real life-- I was with my companion, and our two roommates, and we were out doing real missionary work. We stopped at this really fancy house, and the door was just open so we went right in for some reason. You can do that in dreams, you know. So we walked into this room, and there were fancy clothes and jewelry and shoes EVERYWHERE. it was filled to the brim with beautiful things, and the second I walked in there I just went crazy. I started grabbing things, taking off the clothes I was wearing, and putting on these fancy clothes. The girls I was with just stood there and watched me, with these freaked out looks on their faces. I didnt really care though, I just kept looking at all of the stuff, trying more and more of it on. Eventually we left (after I had chosen the outfit that I wanted) and we were walking away. Then all of a sudden I looked down and thought that I "needed" to change again. So I sprinted back to the room, and started looking at more of the stuff. I stopped when I saw my face in the mirror, and I just looked so sad. I looked at myself right in the eyes and said "what are you doing?" And then I woke up. So that sounds crazy, right? But the second I woke up - I mean, literally, the second I woke up - I sat straight up in bed with the biggest smile on my face. I don't even know how to explain it, but I had the strongest feeling that God just literally doesn{t care about that. He didn't call me to Peru to walk around like a diva, always worrying about my hair or whatever. Its so hard to explain, but I could just feel Gods love in a way that I never have before. I couldn't stop smiling. I hope you don't think I{m crazy, its not like I think I had a vision or anything, but in a way it was just God telling me what he wanted me to know - that I am here, as a missionary, and a missionary is all that he needs me to be. Just the very best missionary that I can possibly be.
SO yeah, thats crazy. But ever since then, I have been so happy. I just wake up, ready to face the day, because I{m a missionary, and I know that God is truly watching over me, taking care of me. I know that He loves me.
Life here is the best. I'm past my halfway mark in the CCM! I have less than 3 weeks left which is insane. But its great. I am so happy. I found out that a lot of people in my district can sing REALLY well, so we've been singing hymns in all 4 parts (soprano, alto, tenor, bass), and it sounds so amazing. I'm not even a good singer, but I just pretend so that I can be included in the beautiful harmonies.
Also, I want you to read the scripture in Alma 36:24. If I had time to type it I would, but I am out of time. It explains almost exactly why I am out here on a mission. Its just my feelings exactly. I know Daniel and Dad that you are not really interested in reading the book of Mormon, but just for my sake, read that verse so you can understand a little more about why Im here.
I have to go, but Just know that I love you all so so so much!!! I keep wanting to send pictures but I never have enough time. Next week I promise youll see pictures. Well, I love you and I will talk to you next week. Seriously though, I LOVE YOU.
Con MUCHO amor,
Hermana Scott
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